7 Manipulation Strategies Used By Abusers
Why, after an assault, do we return to the side of the person who has abused us ? The answer may lie in the various manipulation strategies you use.
These can be very subtle and take advantage of that moment of confusion and despair that comes to us. These are the moments when we are more fragile than ever and we are more manipulable.
7 manipulation strategies
Below we will discuss some manipulation strategies that you can be a victim of at times. It should be noted that many times, you may even use them yourself without realizing it. This can happen because you want what you want to have a specific purpose.
1. If you don’t do what I want, I will get angry
When the other person is offended or cornered, they can choose to get angry. This is usually because they cannot argue anything about what you are telling them.
In this way, with the “if you don’t do what I want, I’ll be angry” turns the tables and causes you to feel guilty about the situation. This will also make you apologize and not act that way again. Without realizing it, he can subdue you and make you at his mercy.
2. You’re not right, I didn’t say that
This is one of the most painful and confusing manipulation strategies for the victim. Phrases like “I didn’t say that” or “Don’t you remember that you started?” they can make a person doubt their own reality.
What the abuser is trying to do is make the other doubt himself. Thus, you will end up giving in to your wishes. This happens many times. So some people try to talk to a variety of friends to give them their own view of the situation. In this way, they corroborate whether or not it is the product of their imagination.
3. I did it because… I love you?
Beware of this way of justifying a slap, a kick, or any sign of abuse. If a person raises his hand, tries to manipulate you, control you, prevents you from moving freely, shows constant jealousy, humiliates you, be careful … This is not love.
Love for someone has no conditions and is not compatible with obsessive control. When we truly love it does not matter if the other person is with us or not. The only thing we think about is that she is happy.
4. Manipulation strategies: if you do that, you already know the consequences
“If you don’t do this, the following will happen”, “if you don’t come back with me I’ll take my life”, all these phrases refer to the famous emotional blackmail. This is intended to make the victim feel guilty.
However, in reality, what is said is usually a real smoke bomb. The abuser tries to intimidate the other person into coming back to him. He also tries to make her not do what she wants, but what he wants.
5. I swear I will not do it again
If your partner mistreats you, hurts you and promises you that he will change, believe us, he will not do it. When someone raises their hand in the relationship and tries to control and manipulate the other, trust, love, and respect are already out the door.
It’s nice to think that people can change, but quite unreal in this case. If he has already hit you, what will prevent him from doing it again?
6. You have to give me an answer now
Every abuser tries to prevent you from having time to think and reason about the situation. In this way, your victory is assured. Therefore, it is important that you stay away if he says something like “you have to give me an answer now.” You must fight for that space that you deserve to observe the circumstance with perspective.
The person who abuses will insist and at all times will want you to decide now. It is just one of his new manipulation strategies.
7. Your friends are not good for you.
A manipulator knows that friends and loved ones are individuals to avoid. This is because these can cause the victim to escape, so it will prevent you from meeting the ones you love the most. To do this, you may make derogatory comments towards these people by changing your view of them.
Suddenly, you may start to think that they really don’t suit you. You may also start to believe that your partner is the only thing you should focus on and that others are not really that important. If so, you must be careful… You are under the yoke of a true manipulator.
The most remarkable thing about all of the above is that you will not realize that it happens until it is too late. This happens because the person who manipulates knows that he should not do it all at once, but progressively.
In this way, it will begin, little by little, to introduce anger, doubt, “I love you” and others so that you will fall into their networks. The sooner you open your eyes, the better.
Do not suffer in silence, inform yourself and ask for help
If you think you are suffering abuse from your partner, you can find out about your rights by calling 016 ( helpline for victims of gender violence) as well as the resources you can have to get out of the situation.
Do not suffer in silence or prolong the discomfort! Find out and ask for help so that the panorama changes and everything goes for the better for you!
