Harmful Personalities: 5 Types Of Guilt “traffickers”

Guilt mongers dwell around us. They are very close to us, and we often fall into their power play during certain moments in our lives.

They are people accustomed to projecting onto others a deep and skillful feeling of guilt with which to dominate and, in turn, make us fall into a continuous dynamic of negative emotions where we believe that “we do everything wrong and that we are useless”. We are, without a doubt, before a type of manipulation as sharp as it is destructive.

This type of dynamic is exercised at all levels. In the family, between couples and in many work environments. So much so that we could say, almost without being wrong, that all of us know more than one person who exercises this ability, this traffic of guilt that can leave us with so many consequences.

We are sure that it will be very useful for you to identify the different types of characterize this behavior. Next, we will tell you about them.

The dangerous blame game and its protagonists

One of the most lethal “games” of power that we can carry out in our friendship, family ties or in our interactions in work contexts is, without a doubt, the projection of guilt.

There are many ways to carry out these tricks. Now, the way in which we are held responsible for some things and not for others always depends on the type of manipulator, the guilt-monger.

The power game that our partner plays is not the same as, for example, the one that a family member can apply. Now let’s see how many types of “guilt mongers” we can find.

1. The charitable and caring

“I’m telling you because I love you and because I wish you the best, but what you’re doing is not good for you and, furthermore, you neglect what is most important and those who care about you.”

• This type of verbalization is a clear example of emotional abuse.
• They are phrases where, through affection and affection, they humiliate us  and, in turn, blame us for their unhappiness or the discomfort of those around us.
• These types of behaviors are very common at the family level.
• An example: “ If you say yes to that job and you leave home, you will be unhappy and you will make us unhappy. It doesn’t suit you, darling. 

The guilt that they project us is accompanied by that affection of someone who is significant to us. In addition, having such a close bond with these types of people, the impact is greater and deeper.

2. Those who hold us responsible for everything

For example, if a plate falls, it is because we are hopelessly clumsy. If their food burns, it is because we have misled them. Or if the car tire is punctured it is because we never remember to go to the workshop to have a service.

• There are people with this type of faculty: to hold others responsible for everything bad that happens – and that happens to them .

It is a slow and progressive form of destruction that must be sensed and stopped as soon as possible.

3. Those who validate their self-esteem by turning us into clumsy puppets

“It is clear that without me you don’t know how to do anything, have you seen how you spoil everything just by touching it?” “You are always screwing up in everything you do; from now on I’ll take care of it ”.

• This example is a direct example of a toxic relationship and a very specific mode of domination.
• Whoever exercises power  projects an unfounded guilt onto us, above all, manages to validate himself as a person.
• It does this by underestimating our actions, our thoughts, our personality. In case of not positioning ourselves, the advance is unstoppable.

They will make us believe that we are nothing and that they are everything.

4. Those who do not understand what it is to take responsibility for their own mistakes

We are sure that you also know more than one person of this type. They make mistakes, recklessness, cause important problems with their attitude, with their behavior … However, they are unable to take responsibility for their actions.

Furthermore, instead of assuming blame, they are specialists in projecting it onto others. “The responsibility is yours for having listened to me”, “after all, the fault is yours for being so trusting …”

5. Those who do it for our good, “to teach us”

Getting others to assume other people’s guilt is, for many, a way for others to learn to take responsibility, to mature.

Take, for example, a company.

• Let’s imagine that manager who holds us responsible for the mistakes of others and “demands” us to solve them.

• To justify himself, he reminds us that in an organization everyone must take responsibility for any problem, because that is how things work.
• Now, let’s also think about those parents who force the older brother to take responsibility for the mistakes of his little brothers.

They “load” the blame on him just for being the oldest, or for being the boy, or the girl.

It is not the right thing to do. In every family or work environment, each person must be consistent with their own actions and responsibilities. Blaming just one for all mistakes or oversights is a way of stressing, of lowering the self-esteem of that particular person.