Do Tantrums Have A Silver Lining?

Very often when children are frustrated they have tantrums.

Because they lack the verbal language to explain what they think. And not being able to achieve their goal, they find it necessary to use this immature way to express their feelings.

Tantrums in children generally occur when they lose in a game, when they eat, sleep, when their parents do not understand what they want to convey, among others.

This causes the little one to react explosively to the discomfort he feels at his parents’ misunderstanding.

How to spot tantrums

Tantrums are defined as explosive behavior, of short duration, characterized by crying, shaking limbs and even self or hetero-aggression. Verbalization in unintelligible and scarce.

1. Meet basic needs

One of the main types of tantrums occurs when the child has a basic need that cannot be met at the moment.

As he is unable to express them through language (he is not able to make himself understood), he uses the resource of the tantrum to attract the attention of adults.

For example: when you feel like sleeping or eating.

2. Misinformation

Young children are overcome by insecurity if they are misplaced in a particular situation. 

For example, when they attend their first day of school where they will share moments in a different place with unknown teachers and children.

3. Release tensions

The child can also throw tantrums when he needs to release tensions in times of fear.

For example, if you are going to a closed place for the first time like cinemas and theaters.

The moment the lights go out, he freaks out, and his way of expressing that feeling is by throwing a tantrum.

If this is not overcome, when you return to these places, you will remember those moments of fear and will throw a tantrum again.

Positive side of tantrums

Although many times parents feel embarrassed when their children suffer episodes of tantrums.

We must also take into account that they are human beings and, like adults, have the right to vent.

In addition, tantrums have a positive side as we show you below.

They define the child’s personality

Tantrums affect children’s emotional health and well-being.

The little ones don’t know how to tell you what they need, so they express it by throwing tantrums. However, parents should gradually teach him that this is not the correct way.

This helps you shape your personality day by day.

Release stress

Children after a tantrum release the stress that caused the discomfort of that moment.

After the episode passes and they manage to calm down, they can better understand that not everything can be obtained.

They know limits

Children use tantrums to rebel against the rules , so it is important that they know what the limit of their actions is.

In this case, parents play an important role in letting them know what the rules are and the consequences of their non-compliance.

These rules must be firm and consistent, previously thought out, and must be for the good of the child. This will prevent you from suffering from conduct disorder as an adult.

What to do when a child has a tantrum?

The moment the child throws a tantrum, parents must remain calm in such a situation.

It is understood that it is difficult to handle the frustration of adults, but if they are also upset it would only complicate the circumstance.

Parents must understand that it is a demonstration of what they are feeling, and that no matter how much we want to help, they will not stop feeling.

The best we can do is wait for the episode to pass.

Then talk to the child, tell him that we understand that he feels bad. It is important to give him alternatives, hold him in our arms or sit at his height and accept the pain that he is showing us.

On these occasions, the child needs the encouragement of a close person to listen to him.

However, sometimes tantrums are too aggressive to ignore. In these cases, ask the child to sit for two minutes and think about what he did.

On the other hand, some children do not want to be comforted.

If the child asks you to walk away, you should do so for a few minutes. After the tantrum passes, the child will often want to be held.

This is a good way to get him back into the activities he was doing.

Conclution

Generally, as the child grows and matures, the tantrums diminish.

Also, as he develops verbal language, he improves his ability to express his frustrations verbally, ceasing to do so physically.

However, tantrums may persist beyond the age of 4 and parents are unable to control them.

If this happens, it is recommended that you seek the support of a specialized professional, that is, a child psychologist.