How To Have More Empathy: Tips To Achieve It

Although it may seem like a difficult task, learning to listen and put ourselves in the place of others is one of the ways to foster empathy and get in tune with the people around us.

The ability to perceive how others feel and act accordingly is what is commonly called empathy. This means that you should treat others as they wish and not as the saying goes “ how you would like to be treated.”

Having more empathy is necessary to better relate to others. Sometimes it is difficult to understand others, but it is worth the effort. Here are some tips to have more empathy and improve your social relationships.

What is empathy?

Undoubtedly, it is a skill that everyone should have, since it allows us to understand the people around them. Did you know that yawning is the ultimate expression of being empathetic? When this happens, mirror neurons are activated in the brain, which are responsible for trying to understand what is happening to the other.

The degree of empathy varies depending on the situation. For example, a study published in PLoS ONE that studied the relationship of empathy with the contagion of yawns found that the closer people are, the greater the chances of contagion. On the other hand, other factors such as gender and nationality did not influence in this sense.

Women, in turn, tend to have this more developed capacity, according to a study published in The Spanish Journal of Psychology . This could be a matter of ‘maternal instinct’, since they need to understand the needs of a baby when he cries; however, this is not detailed in the cited study.

Why is it good to be empathetic?

Being able to empathize makes you a good friend, partner or child. Of course, developing this quality has many advantages. First, if you understand the other person, listen to them, and “put yourself in their shoes,” that person will do the same for you. However, it is also not the goal to pass yourself off as an empath to get favors from others.

According to what is detailed in research published by the scientific journal Psicothema , some of the benefits of improving this ability are:

• Strengthen ties with other people.
• Be more persuasive.
• To be heard.
• Become a leader.

• Motivate others.
• Understand and react to the feelings of others.

Exercises to have more empathy

One of the keys to being more empathetic lies in putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and, for a moment, forgetting yourself. Of course this cannot be sustained forever, as it is also important to take care of your own needs. Pay attention to the following tips to develop or improve empathy:

1. Focus on body language

Many times people can be saying one thing but expressing another completely different with the body. Empaths have the ability to observe signs.

For example, posture, tone, silence, and gaze speak volumes. It’s just a matter of stopping listening for a few seconds and paying attention to other issues. Intuition does not usually fail, give it a try.

2. Think about the motivation of others

Why does that person in front of you act one way and not another? What problems have you had to overcome in recent times? What things motivate you to keep going?

Knowing all this, it will be easier for you to empathize. You may not be able to ask them directly, but you can imagine or think about it with a little attention.

3. Ask him how he is

Many times people need a set of ears and a shoulder to unload. This does not mean that you will spend three hours listening to someone talk about their problems, but do try to genuinely care about their life.

You will be more than happy! In a world where everyone thinks of themselves, offering a few minutes of care to another is a revolution. This way you will make the person in front of you feel comforted and understood, and you will surely change their day.

4. Don’t “lecture” him if you want more empathy

To achieve empathy, you must avoid exposing your conclusions about what the person has shared with you. Sermons can be given by anyone: friends, parents, partner.

Instead, you have to focus on making him feel understood. Do not say phrases like “ your problem is …”, “you should have acted …”, “How did you not do anything?”, Or others of that kind. If he perceives that you are going to give him your points of view from a critical point of view, he will close down and stop sharing his feelings with you.

5. Reframe your words

Speak from the point of view of emotions. Paraphrase their sayings and add the necessary emotion to them so that they feel that they are on the same page. For example: “So he doesn’t listen to you when you talk to him (referring for example to the husband). I think that makes you feel a bit lonely, doesn’t it?

Automatically the answer will be “yes” and the feeling that accompanies this monosyllable will be “understand me.” The next step will undoubtedly be to open up even more and continue talking about the facts.

6. Put yourself in the shoes of others

Although it seems like a cliché and nonsense, it is really useful to achieve empathy. Try not to think about yourself, even for a few minutes a day, and look around you.

What do those who are by your side need? How can you help them? How would they feel better? You will be amazed at the automatic rewards you will receive for this attitude. Putting yourself in the place of the other, you will do something that not everyone does, and with it you will make a difference.

7. Eliminate prejudices

Perhaps everything may seem very simple in theory, but not so in practice. You should develop a habit before you want to be empathetic, for example, it is to avoid being prej uicioso, and not only thought but also word.

Making hasty judgments closes many doors. Allow a few minutes to pass before drawing conclusions. Challenge your thoughts and don’t get carried away by stereotypes.

Having more empathy is an everyday mission

This change in mentality will not only be good for those around you, but it will even favor your emotional health and will have an impact even on the self-efficacy and happiness that you perceive. This is confirmed by a study published by the Cypriot Journal of Educational Sciences in 2013.

Now that you know how you can be a little more empathetic, make the effort and improve your personal relationships. Your environment will change, and so will the way others treat you.