I’d Rather Bother With The Truth Than Dazzle With Falsehood

Falsehood is part of life and of society itself. For many it is a way of ‘survival’ and ‘integration’; On the other hand, for others, it is that dimension that they prefer to avoid, even if it brings them more than one problem.

Lies, deception and falsehood are a more than common resource in many of the spheres that surround us. Defending ourselves against them is not easy, just as it is not easy to practice that sincerity that is usually annoying, in many cases.

Has it ever happened to you? We invite you to reflect on it below.

Falsehood, a double-edged survival instinct

Jean Paul Sartre said that “he who is authentic assumes responsibility for being what he is and recognizes himself free to be what he is.”

Although it is often difficult to tell the truth, it must be said. By being sincere, as Sartre tells us, we not only act in line with what we think and want, but we can also give a more accurate image of ourselves. Of course, telling the truth is not a carte blanche to attack others and impose ourselves. 

For example, respectfully and courteously telling a coworker that their behavior is annoying and that it does not allow us to be productive, may cause them not to speak to us, or that other colleagues criticize us for being so sincere.

However, we don’t have to live in fear of being rejected or misunderstood. For the common good, it is best that we dare to communicate what has caused discomfort, with respect and emotional intelligence, to improve the situation (for both parties) and promote a good work environment in general.

In short, it is not advisable to keep quiet about everything that bothers us, to maintain a false illusion of harmony with the environment. With this we will only be able to harm ourselves.

The use of lies to feel accepted

Sometimes we have the feeling that society itself seems to demand that we tell lies in order to achieve a better adaptation and, thus, feel accepted.

• Little by little, we end up giving such a different image of ourselves that we hardly recognize ourselves. All this is a source of stress and emotional discomfort that we should manage.
• We avoid telling our family members certain things because we know that they will not accept criticism constructively.
• Some people tell lies about themselves to feel accepted.
• We lie about our likes in front of some people so that we don’t feel rejected. We use falsehood at parties or in social gatherings to ‘harmonize’ with the rest, even if we don’t like it.

If we think about it, they are practices that we have all done more than once and that, in the long term, have made us feel bad. Therefore, there always comes a time when we refuse to follow that line of behavior.

According to a study carried out by the social psychologist Robert Feldman, 60% of people are able to tell about 3 lies a day. Some harmless and others, of course, much more serious.

Sometimes the constant use of sincerity also brings us problems

Telling the truth, tactlessly and without warning, can hurt the other. Therefore, when making use of sincerity it is necessary to have tact, temperance and emotional intelligence.

• We cannot tell the couple from one day to the next ‘that we no longer love them’. The sudden truth hurts, and therefore it is better to use a daily sincerity (I do not like this that has happened, I am realizing that things between us are not going well. ..)
• The use of sincerity is not something that everyone accepts. In fact, it is possible that you yourself have experienced it in your own skin: when you tell a truth they can tell you selfish or insensitive.

Just as falsehood is a double-edged sword, sincerity also has this same characteristic.

Making use of the truth in all areas of our life sometimes brings us consequences that we did not expect. However, if our conscience is clear and we feel good (even liberated), it will have been worth it.

The truth must be used wisely, not as a weapon of aggression

Just as falsehood causes damage, the crudest sincerity can also bring painful consequences that it is better to know how to manage.

Surely you also know someone who prides himself on being very sincere. He is the typical person without hairs on the tongue who attacks with his comments.

• We must be able to offer a truth that ‘allows others to grow’ and not humiliate them. 

• The use of the truth should allow us to be free from those who harm us. Furthermore, we must be able to use the truth with respect.

Sometimes we bother with our sincerity, it’s true. However, the annoyance should never be an aggression, but rather a way to ensure that spaces and the value of coexistence are respected.