Wendy’s Syndrome: Taking Care Of Others By Forgetting Yourself

When it comes to talking about Wendy syndrome, many people think that the description that popular psychology offers about this behavior is something isolated and typical of previous generations. From our mothers or grandmothers.

Nothing is further from reality. The need to take care of our partners, to give everything for them and to prioritize their needs before ours is something that occurs normally today.

There are many who make the mistake of “loving too much” their partner, thereby losing their own self-esteem.

You have to maintain a limit, a balance. You can adore your partner, love your parents or your friends, but we must never go to the extreme of forgetting our own needs.

Our personal growth should never be overlooked.

Let’s talk about this topic in our space today. Let’s get to know Wendy’s syndrome a little better.

Wendy syndrome, the perfect woman for a Peter Pan

Let us recall a little the personalities of Wendy Darling and Peter Pan in the famous work of James M. Barrie.

Peter is that young man who refuses to grow up. That you don’t want to have the responsibilities of an adult. Who seeks, above all, to live a thousand adventures without having to enter that sphere of stability and maturity.

Peter Pan would thus describe all these rather immature men. As  incapable not only of taking responsibility for their own life, but also for that of others.

And what about Wendy Darling? She is that girl who, from day one, sews Peter’s shadow so that he does not lose it again. He cares about cleaning his house, caring for the “lost children.”

She gives everything for others because that is how she is happy.

Characteristics of people with Wendy’s syndrome

They prioritize the needs of others

• They feel the need to care, to attend to others, because that is the way they feel that they make others happy.

• They prioritize the needs of others over their own, hence they come to sacrifice their hobbies and even what is important to them.

They do things because they feel better that way

• For these people, caring is a way of offering love. 
• They do it freely and also because they want to.
• Nobody imposes on them that they have to take care of other people.

However, they tend to “fit in” very well with couples with Peter Pan syndrome. Immature men who allow themselves to be cared for, who do not want to take responsibility and for whom it is comfortable to have a partner who takes care of everything, including children.

Fear to loneliness

People with Wendy’s syndrome are especially afraid of two things: that other people will stop needing them and that they will be alone.

The idea of ​​having no one to care for terrifies them, because that’s the way they can feel useful and offer love. In turn, thanks to this, they see themselves as valid and necessary.

Changes arrive

An important aspect must be taken into account. Caring and caring may make them happy, but there always comes a time when they realize that others may be manipulating them.

At some point they feel like they are giving too much for nothing. There will come a day when they feel frustrated and undervalued, and that’s when the problem appears.

Care must be taken so that these behaviors do not lead to possible depression.

Take care of yourself, also worrying about others

Should we perhaps stop caring for others? Or to worry about the beings we love? Absolutely. That never.

Our partners, our family and, especially, our children, are those people who are part of our life, who identify us and who are indisputable pillars in our day to day.

Now, in all our personal relationships we must have a balance and take these aspects into account:

Personal growth

Do not forget the importance of promoting your personal growth, having your space, your hobbies, defending your values ​​and taking care of your self-esteem.

If you give everything for others, you will be empty. Then will come dissatisfaction, frustration and sadness.

What good are you then to others if you are unhappy? No problem.

Positive energy

If you are a person who feels proud of herself, if you feel happy, with good self-esteem and with the autonomy to take responsibility for yourself, you will also bring all this positive energy to others.

You will only radiate all these very appropriate emotions.

You must feel loved

You can take care of your partner, the person you love. However, keep in mind that you too deserve to be cared for, recognized and valued.

It is a game of forces where both of you must win and never lose. If you are one of those who feel happy taking care of others, remember that you must start with yourself first.

If you fall, others fall. Cultivate your happiness and then you will also be able to offer happiness. 

Keep it in mind!